It’s been difficult to make myself write on this blog since last May. I guess it just shines the light on the fact that we are missing a birdy from our nest. It makes me sad. They are all half way through their Junior year…one is just 5 hours away from the home flock.

Well, a huge milestone has brought me back to the Mom’s Flight School blog with 2 of our boys taking their driving test tomorrow.

They took driver’s ed with an amazing teacher last fall, Mr. Bob Jones, so thankfully, I have the peace of mind of all they learned during the course. Somewhere within the timeline of that class I decided that I was finished dying my gray/silver/white roots. Done! Out of the blue, just like that!

I like to think that I’ve earned each and every one.  I finally got tired of feeling the pressure to keep the roots covered up. Every 3 weeks of having a 2 hour date with a box of L’Oreal was just such a pain. Also, my “post 40″ hair thinning has REALLY decreased with several months of not using dye. It’s too bad the body doesn’t get thinner while the hair gets fuller as we age.

So, back to my drivers. I’m proud of them and happy for them, but it does make me sad. It’s more evidence that my babies are strengthening their wings and will be doing a lot more solo flights in the coming months before they fly out of the nest for good. *sniff* Yes, it makes me sad for how quickly this has gone by and makes me wish their brother was here, too, contributing to my high blood pressure while I sit in the passenger side of their car. They bought their own and I have to say, I really enjoy the drives back from school-when they take turns driving there, I get to drive it home. I’m pretty sure the stereo (with woofers) was the deciding factor on the little 1990 4-door Nissan.

Thankfully, our daughter is more hesitant…enough that we’ve set their birthday as a deadline for her to get hers. Sometimes we actually have to nudge those sweet birdies into the solo flights…all for love.

“As I look back on my own life, I recognize this simple truth: The greatest opportunities were the scariest lions.  Part of me has wanted to play it safe, but I’ve learned that taking no risks is the greatest risk of all.” 

Mark Batterson,  In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day: How to Survive and Thrive When Opportunity Roars

I chased a lion to get up at 3:45 this morning to meet some great ladies to hike Table Rock! I wanted to go, but I certainly did not want to get up at that time and I almost bailed while getting ready. I’m so glad I didn’t! There is nothing like praying on a mountain exactly when the sun rises. It feels pretty magical once you’re up there. The journey to that place was less than enjoyable. I have quarter sized blisters and heart palpatations to prove it. Isn’t that how life often goes?

I have been listening to the book mentioned above this week for the second time. God is using it to open up my mind to how I have viewed trials throughout my life. I love this book. It’s a life changer in terms of the way I will forever look at adversity.

I cannot recommend this book enough. I bought the audio version, but wish I had the hard copy too, as I want to go crazy with a highlighter in it.

Getting up early isn’t REALLY scary, but it’s HARD. It’s a baby lion. I have faced much fiercer lions, for sure. One thing is true, there is always blessing on the other end of it. We come away stronger, leaner, or smarter.

I wish you joy on your journey, wherever you find yourself today. You are not alone!

What lion do you want to chase this week?

[You can download the first chapter for free from the chasethelion.com!]

While I was waiting with MJ to get his left eye checked out (he ended up with a biopsy), we looked at the available magazine selection. I opted for the large print Reader’s Digest (have to say I dig the large print) and Matthew read about Manny Pacquiao in Sports Illustrated. Manny has an amazing testimony!

Anyway, I found a review of a book entitled No Regrets Parenting: Turning Long Days and Short Years into Cherished Moments with Your Kids. The author tells it like it is…940 Saturdays, that’s what we have with our kids. (If we are so blessed, many parents in some manner or another may not have so many of them.)

I have not read the book, but love what I do know about it. Oh, these days are to be cherished…even the long, mundane ones. Especially those, really. I just did the math and the number I came up with shocked me. I know I’ve dreaded the thought of an empty nest for quite some time and you’ve heard me say, it’s gone too fast!!!  Actually counting out the Saturdays, though, wowzer, that is impacting. Especially when you look at Saturdays in particular…they are supposed to be fun days for the most part. Wow, seeing the number REALLY makes me want them to REALLY count!!! Really.

We have already had a birdie depart the nest, in an abrupt manner that was a shock. As much as I’ve always concentrated on cherishing having my kids home, this deepens my resolve even further. Just as I wish to live for God with more of Him and less of me…I want to do that with my mommy time too, less “for me” and “more for them”. One day far too soon I will have a LOT of time on my hands! Life is a vapor, our kids are a gift, and we cannot regain even 1 yesterday.

The average year has 52 Saturdays, how many Saturdays do you have left? (I sort of felt like a cheater only having to do the math once for multiple kids!)

Never have I met anyone with so many (over a thousand!) reasons to complain…and she doesn’t.  She is real, jokes about being a superhero (Super Tumor Hater), has many pain-filled days, but loves God so much and her hope is in Him.  She also has a pretty wonderful boyfriend, family, and friends.  I love this girl already…she is a FIGHTER!

{She is on the path to publish her book with a good agent. Please consider helping her on that road by subscribing to her blog and maybe sharing her link with friends. The more readers she has, the more a publisher will love her! Thank you!}

,

It’s been one of my worst weeks so far.  I’ve had a lot of chest tightness and a relentless sense of despair.  I keep wondering why I can’t feel God the way that I have and I admit I have felt sort of abandoned and very alone.  Trying to keep strong for my kids and husband and appear okay has left me feeling torn and exhausted.

Where is God?

Long ago, when I was around 12, I remember the pastor of our church telling this story.  They were driving down the highway and his wife was commenting how sad she thought it was that they didn’t sit next to each other on drives any more.  She didn’t feel they were as close as they used to be.  He sat behind the wheel and smiled and asked her, “Who moved?”

I don’t know if that really happened or if it was an illustration he’d heard or thought up. It’s true, though. Back in the day, most cars had bench seats and lovebirds could sit right beside each other. I have been wondering what is different between this week and the last couple, where I have so strong felt God holding me up and loving me.  I realized one major difference.

Since our world rolled upside down, I’d been listening to music every day.  It’s powerful and can be life-giving. I thank God often for the ability and gift of hearing. I really love music. I’ve listened to KLove  for almost 20 years and it’s sister station (the kids’ favorite) Air1 since it came to our area.  It’s music for and about the God I love, with words of hope and songs about perfect love and this imperfect life.  Last week we went out of town and I was without that constant input into my ears and heart.  When we got back to town, I’d sort of forgotten that is was part of my formula and spent more time in silence.

What I hear speaks into my life, my heart, and mind.  Without that key component of encouraging music, it was as if I’d slid over to the passenger side and asked “God, why aren’t you next to me?”

I am reminded how easily we can scootch, little by little, away from God.  Small things can take us away a millimeter at a time.  Less time in the Word, less time praying for others, and more time feeling the intensity of the pain of being in a furnace.

My lesson for today is remembering the things that I need to open my life to when things are hard and all I want to do is fall into a hole clenching a grenade.  When I stop doing the things that keep me going, the heat cranks up, I can’t think and I feel the pain that wants to harden my heart.

Jesus, before he was led to the cross after suffering a brutal beating, had spent time with his disciples and in utter humility, love, and servanthood-washed their feet.  He wasn’t concerned about appearing “strong”. He didn’t care what anyone thought of him, he was so focused on obedience. In the garden when he prayed to his Father, He even asked that if God willed, he might take the cup of suffering from Christ.  His heart never hardened toward the things his loving Father had placed before him.  His suffering, his sacrifice made me free.

All I want is to walk each day with a heart willing to be broken for His sake and to stop craving my own comfort.  I want to stop asking that the pain will stop.  I want to be like Jesus…loving, trusting, and understanding that God has a plan.  His plan is the one I want.  Not only for me, but for everyone I love, for those that I would die for.  My children are in His hands.

So, today, be assured that I will be seeking God today in all the ways that give me hope and joy…even in the furnace.  (Favorites right now, Zephaniah 3:17, “My Utmost for His Highest”, and I just bought “Love Does” from Audible.com.) I’m cranking up the shabby little radio and will be nourishing my heart!

PS:  My Mp3 was my travel buddy…I listened to “Forgotten God” by Francis Chan earlier and tonight, started Love Does.  It’s now almost bedtime and I have to say, I got it right today.  More of Him, less of me=no more despair!  Thank You, Lord!  6.1.12 11:24 pm

Music has always meant a lot to me, but especially now.  Much love to my dear friends and family, thank you for your love!

Well, make that “2 years left in the nest”.  *Sigh*  Click the link above to read my guest post on the Earth Monkey Moms blog!

I made homemade frosting for the first time ever!  Mmm, worth the effort, truly!

We had a great birthday celebration and in two days a flock of 20 teenaged friends will join us to really ring in the 16th year!

At their favorite place for free birthday burgers...and a song!